The Dentist's Visit
by Sarit
Summary: This is a fic dedicated to my friend Catra. What happens when Heero is forced to go to the dentist against his will? O.o;;;


Title: The Dentist's Visit  
Author: Sarit (su.ami@verizon.net)  
Disclaimer: I don't own. Never will own, so suing is pointless. Have no money, just check my bank acct ;)  
Pairing: 3x4; R+1; 1x2  
Rating: PG-13 (for language and slight violence - oh come on, we are talking Heero here!)  
Warnings: Fluff, humor and general insanity :D  
Author's Note: This fic is for my friend Catra. She's had major dental surgery lately, and I wrote this to cheer her up :D  
Summary: Heero + Dentist= Bloodshed ;)

"Heero, you are going, end of discussion."

"Omae o korosu."

The former Gundam pilots stared at the confrontation between the Perfect Soldier and the former Queen of the World. It was not a pretty sight.

Shortly after the events in the Mariemaia war, the small group of Gundam pilots had agreed to become Preventers. Heero had agreed reluctantly, after much prodding by his lover, Duo. Because of their familiarity with the current Vice Foreign Minister, they had been assigned as her permanent bodyguards.

Normally this didn't pose as a problem. But Relena had schedule a very important dinner and the boys would be on hand, not just as bodyguards, but also as prospective speakers. Because of this, Relena had scheduled all the boys for a trip to the dentist. She wanted to make sure they're teeth were as white as possible. The speeches were going to be televised all over the colonies, after all.

This was the reason for Relena and Heero's current disagreement. He absolutely refused to go. Dentists were evil...likable to OZ, White Fang and Dekim Barton. There was no way in heaven or hell that they'd get him to go...

"You can kill me after the banquet. In the mean time, you _are_ going!" Relena turned on her heel and opened the door. Just before she left, she turned back. "Oh, and your appointments are in ten minutes." With that, she left.

"She's evil..." Quatre whispered, shivering. Trowa patted him on the shoulder reassuringly, and then headed out without a word. 

Quatre followed his lover, Wufei not far behind. Smirking, Duo reached out and dragged Heero by the collar. "Come on, Hee-bunny! It'll be fun!"

"I told you not to call me that!"

* * *

The dentist's office was cold, white and sterile. Just as horrible as Heero had imagined it would be. As soon as they walked in, he would have reached for his gun, but Duo and the others had confiscated it prior to entering the office.

Walking up to the receptionist, a pretty Asian girl, Duo grinned cheekily. "Hey doll! We're here for an appointment to have our pearly whites cleaned."

Her eyes twitched, gazing at the bouncy American. "Right. We were told you'd be here, Mr. Maxwell. If you'll follow me? We need to do some X-rays first." She stood, leading the five pilots deeper into the office. Coming to a door, she opened it, ushering each pilot into a separate room. 

Some time later, after much cursing and bodily injuries, the X-rays were finished. Heero glared at the world at large, sounding much like Wufei as he railed against the injustice of having to go through this.

One of the X-ray techs was being wheeled out on a stretcher; multiple broken bones his reward for having to work on Heero.

Sneaking away from the others as they tried to calm Heero down, Duo grinned evilly. Looking around, making sure no one was around; he slid into the room Heero had been occupied in. He took the X-rays and looked at them through the viewer. 

He snorted. Like everything else, the guy had perfect teeth. It was such a fucking injustice!

'Wow, Duo...now you're sounding like Fei...ewwwwww....'

He looked at his won X-rays. He had two cavities in his lower jaw. He made a face. He knew they weren't bad. He could get rid of them on his own. 

A sly grin fell over his face as he gazed at the X-rays. Quickly, he changed the labels and deposited his X-ray into Heero's slot. This was going to be fun...

* * *

Fidgeting in his chair, Heero death glared the entire room. He was really going to kill Relena this time.

The door opened and in walked the dental hygienist. Heero blinked.

Dr. J cracked a smile as he snapped his clawed hand at his patient. "Good to see you again, Heero."

"............"

"As articulate as ever, I see." Dr. J replied sarcastically, walking to the table and picking up the X-rays. 

"What...are...you...doing...here?" Heero growled out between clenched teeth.

Dr. J shrugged. "Times are rough, Heero. There aren't many jobs out there for mad scientists. You take what you can get."

"..........."

Shaking out the X-ray, Dr. J tsked at Heero. "These are not good, Heero. I would have thought you'd take care of your teeth. We're going to need to operate I think.

"Operate?!! I came in for a cleaning!"

"That's neither here nor there. You have some major cavities that need to be taken care of right away..."

Click.

Dr. J froze, and then turned around to have the barrel of Heero's spare gun pointed right between his eyes. "I don't think so, Doctor."

"You're so predictable, Heero." Dr. J smirked, cackling as the chair in which Heero sat suddenly bucked, sending the young Japanese pilot back into the seat. Clamps wrapped around his wrists and ankles, securing him snuggly to the chair.

If looks could kill, Dr. J would have been a very nice splat on the floor. The doctor just smiled, clacking his claw arm absently. "Now then, let's get to work..."

* * *

Reclining in one of the waiting room chairs, Duo stretched, grinning. The other pilots were all done, save for Heero. Trowa and Quatre were talking in hushed tones, but Wufei was staring at Duo. The American pilot was a bit too smug for his liking. 

Standing, he collared the jovial pilot, shaking him until Duo's teeth rattled. "All right, Maxwell! I know you're up to something, so spit it out!"

"Me?! I'm as innocent as a lamb!"

"Yeah, a black one! Now talk!"

Quatre blinked, turning from his lover to stare at Duo. "Duo did you do something you shouldn't have again?!"

"Geez...such love. I'm touched." Duo drawled sarcastically. "Fine, fine..." He proceeded to inform them of the little joke he had played on Heero.

"Duo, you are going to be in so much trouble..." Trowa stopped in mid-sentence, his eyes twitching. The other pilots turned to look in the direction he was staring at. 

Heero stood at the door, his blue eyes ablaze with anger. The four pilots looked at each other and gave a collective "eeep!!!"

Behind Heero could be seen Dr. J. His claw was mangled and twisted. He stared back at them with the utmost fear in his eyes. 

Heero eyes his comrades, looking from one to the other. When his gaze finally fell on Duo, he snarled. Duo eeped and hid behind a chair.

Just in time as it turned out. From behind Heero, a loud explosion sounded. Various nurses, dental assistants and patients ran out of the office as the entire back end of the building was blown apart.

Quatre, Trowa and Wufei began to sweatdrop profusely. When Heero got mad, he _really_ got mad!!!

"No...dentists." Heero snarled, dropping Dr. J who crumbled into a heap of quivering jelly. Duo flinched, but then cried out as Heero took a hold of his braid and dragged him out of the demolished office.

* * *

Relena watched as her friends gave their speeches one by one. She was very proud of them. Especially Heero. He seemed so calm and serene. Maybe the dentist had really done him some good.

It hadn't done any good for Duo, however. His head was bandaged, his arm in a sling. He looked like he'd been in a hurricane or something. She wondered what had caused him to be injured so badly. 'I suppose I'll never know.'

~owari~


End file.
